Praise be to Allaah.
Your question is a bit confusing. In the first part you say you are scared because of the fact that you have been thinking about males and their sex organs. Then you mention that you want to know if you can date men??
First off, there is no evidence of people being born gay. That’s a myth that has been successfully propagated by the gay movement. According to NARTH, the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality, there is no definitive evidence of a ‘gay gene.’ You can read a lot more about it here: http://www.narth.com/menus/born.html
It is impossible for me to answer your question about why you are having homosexual thoughts. The first thing you might want to do is look back at your history. Have you had any incidence or experiences with homosexuality in the past? How about when you were young, is there any history of sexual abuse or molestation in your family, for instance? Have you been viewing homosexual pornographic materials anywhere? There must be something that has ‘triggered’ this sudden wave of mental activity. So, maybe you need to do some self-examination and then let us know.
As for that last part of your question. Why would you want to date men if you are scared of being homosexual? I don’t quite understand your intentions in asking that.
In Islam, of course, homosexuality is a sin. However, from what we have learned from research on it, parents, teachers and other care providers of children have as much responsibility as the individual him or herself to provide a loving, stable and as ‘normal’ a loving and nurturing environment as possible for the child’s healthy development. That means that a young man, for example, should have positive and loving male figures in his life from an early age, to help the young man with identity development. From this article - http://www.narth.com/docs/hom101.html
- you can see what I mean.
That is one reason why the Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) gave us so many beautiful examples of how to raise and be with children, especially male children. There are many examples in the Hadith of the Prophet (Prophet’s sayings) expressing his love and affection for his grandchildren, Hassan and Hussein, in ways that sometimes would shock even the Sahaba (Companions of the Prophet). They would often be dumbstruck at how the Prophet would play with them, kiss them, hug them and tell them how much he adored them. This was very foreign to the Arabs of that time, but it was the warmth and loving nature of our Prophet that made them, along with so many others, so endeared to him. Too many young men today do not have that same opportunity to become attached, through healthy love and affection, to adult males, allowing for healthy identity development.
May Allaah Bless you and guide you to His path.
Dr. Abd. Lateef Krauss