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|The Sin of Masturbation & Marriage
How can a person clean his/her sins that have been done? What can I do if a women has masturbated without knowing that it is haram will it be a sin? If so how can I clean or make up for what has happened. My other question is that what happens if you are a Muslim women and wish to marry a non-Muslim man who is willing to change his religion to Islam, is that a sin or is it okay for them to be engaged?
Praise be to Allaah.
No doubt what you did is a sin. So, you must make sincere repentance to Allah. There are many violations such as uncovering Awrah, transgression of Allah's limits, and seeking pleasure through illegal means, all of which are committed during that sin.
As long as you have repented, Allah will forgive you and accept your repentance. Allah says: " Say O 'Ibâdî (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Az-Zumar 39:53)
The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "Whoever repents before the sun rises from the west, Allah will accept his repentance." (Muslim)
If you have repented from this sin, Allah will not punish you since He is off-Forgiving and most Merciful.
The act is not equal to Zina though it is a form of Zina as the prophet declared: "A hand also commits Zina and its Zina is in its being used in illegal sexual acts. (Ahmed)
We advise that you hasten to marry so that you can protect yourself from forbidden acts. Abdullah Ibn Mas’ood said, "We were with the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) while we were young and had no wealth whatsoever. So Allah's Messenger said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." (Bukhari)
We recommend the following suggestions:
1) The motive to seek a cure for this problem should be solely following Allaah’s orders and fearing His punishment.
2) A permanent and quick cure from this problem lies in marriage as soon as the person is able, as shown in the Prophet’s Hadeeth.
3) Keeping oneself busy with what is good for this world and the hereafter is essential in breaking this habit before it becomes second nature after which it is very difficult to rid oneself of it.
4) Lowering the gaze (from looking at forbidden things such as pictures, movies, etc.) will help suppress the desire before it leads one to commit the Haraam (forbidden). Allaah orders men and women to lower their gaze as shown in the following two verses and in the Prophet’s Hadeeth (interpretations of the meanings): "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is all-aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) ..... " 24.30-31 Allaah’s messenger said: "Do not follow a casual (unintentional) look (at forbidden things) with another look." Al-Tirmithi 2777 This is a general instruction by the Prophet to abstain from all that may sexually excite a person because it might lead him/her to commit the Haraam (forbidden).
5) Using one’s available leisure time in worshipping Allaah and increasing religious knowledge.
6) Being cautious not to develop any of the medical symptoms that may result from masturbation such as weak eyesight, weak nervous system, and/or back pain. More importantly, feeling of guilt and anxiety that can be complicated by missing obligatory prayers because of the need to shower (Ghusl) after every incidence of masturbation.
7) Avoiding the illusion that some youth have that masturbation is permissible because it prevents them from committing illegal sexual acts such as fornication or even homosexuality.
8) Strengthening one’s willpower and avoiding spending time alone as recommended by the Prophet when he said "Do not spend the night alone" Ahmad 6919.
9) Following the Prophet’s aforementioned Hadeeth and fast when possible, because fasting will temper one’s sexual desire and keep it under control. However, one should not overreact and swear by Allaah not to return to the act because if one does not honor one’s promise, one would be facing the consequences of not living up to one’s oath to Allaah. Also, note that medication to diminish one’s sexual desire is strictly prohibited because it might permanently affect one’s sexual ability.
10) Trying to follow the Prophet’s recommendation concerning the etiquette of getting ready for bed, such as reading well-known supplications, sleeping on the right side, and avoiding sleeping on the belly (the Prophet forbade sleeping on the belly).
11) Striving hard to be patient and chaste, because persistence will eventually, Allaah willing, lead to attaining those qualities as second nature, as the Prophet explains in the following Hadeeth: "Whoever seeks chastity Allaah will make him chaste, and whoever seeks help from none but Allaah, He will help him, and whoever is patient He will make it easy for him, and no one has ever been given anything better than patience." Bukhari: 1469.
12) Repenting, asking forgiveness from Allaah, doing good deeds, and not losing hope and feeling despair are all prerequisites to curing this problem. Note that losing hope is one of the major sins punishable by Allaah.
13) Finally, Allaah is the Most Merciful and He always responds to whoever calls on Him. So, asking for Allah’s forgiveness will be accepted, by His will.
Finally, it is forbidden for Muslim women to marry non-Muslim men, according to the Qur’aan, the Sunnah and the consensus of the scholars (ijmaa’). If such a marriage takes place, it is invalid, it does not have any impact upon inheritances according to sharee’ah, and any children born from this union are illegitimate. Hoping that the husband may become Muslim does not alter this ruling in the slightest.
And Allaah knows best.
Question Date: 2010-08-10
* The views posted are the opinions of the individual author of each posting, and are solely meant for education, discussion, and debate, not for any illegal purpose. The authors are not responsible or liable for the intentional, reckless, or negligent actions of any individual, and we assumes no responsibility for the content of the authors. Thus, the articles and materials posted do not represent, endorse or express the views of Muslims of Calgary or any of its affiliate organizations.
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