Praise be to Allaah.

 

Firstly, there is no doubt that such conversations, if they lead to evil and to fitnah (temptation) are haraam and are not permitted. Everything that leads to haraam is also haraam. 

 

Secondly, you have to repent to Allaah and seek His forgiveness for doing this haraam thing. You have to regret it and immediately stop engaging in chats with non-mahram women on these channels. You have to ask Allaah to cover your faults in this world and in the Hereafter. We advise you to use your time in things that will benefit you in your religious and worldly affairs, such as learning about your religion, taking care of your wife and looking after your children. Undoubtedly these are things for which Allaah will reward you. And you have to do a lot of righteous deeds, and get to know good men so that you will have alternatives to harmful uses of your time that bring no benefits. 

 

Fear Allaah, and do not speak to non-mahram women. This is safer for your religious commitment and purer for your heart. You should note that marriage to a righteous woman is a blessing from Allaah, and a blessing cannot be acquired by means of sin. 

 

Shaykh Ibn Jibreen (may Allaah preserve him) was asked: What is the ruling on correspondence between young men and women? 

 

He replied: 

 

It is not permissible for any man to correspond with a woman who is not his mahram, because of the fitnah (temptation) involved in that. A person may think that there is no fitnah, but the Shaytaan will keep trying until he tempts him. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded those who heard of the Dajjaal to keep away from him, and said that a man may approach him as a believer, but the Dajjaal will keep trying until he leads him astray. 

 

Correspondence between young men and women involves a great deal of fitnah and danger, so we must avoid it. From Fataawa al-Mar’ah, compiled by Muhammad al-Musnad, p. 96. 

 

You waste your time on the internet with things that are of no benefit, and that lead you to sin, by watching promiscuous programs and talking to non-mahram women, and possibly sleeping and missing obligatory prayers.  You may also neglect your work, there is no good in your going on the internet, rather it is haraam for you to go online if the matter is as you describe. One of the basic principles of sharee’ah is to block the means that lead to evil; so every means that leads to something haraam is itself haraam. 

 

What you have mentioned about how you are with the internet is a lesson to others who take this matter lightly, and they give free rein to themselves, their families and their children, and do not wake up until it is too late. 

 

What you must do is hasten to repent to Allaah, and regret what you have done in the past. Give up the internet altogether, for time is the most precious thing that a man possesses, and the means that lead to haraam must be given up. Keep yourself busy with reading Qur’aan, attending lessons and keeping company with righteous people, and you will find that which will bring you happiness, joy, pleasure and peace of mind. No one sets right the relationship between himself and his Creator but all his affairs will be set straight. 

 

One of the things that the Muslim should do is discipline himself and seek to adopt the best of attitudes and etiquette. This requires a great deal of striving against bad inclinations and it needs a lot of patience. The most important thing that can help him to do that is avoiding places of evil and places that could lead to his doom. The scholars of personal development are unanimously agreed that man is inherently weak and inclined towards evil, and that it is the mind (or reason) that could controls his attitude and inclinations, and guide his energies. So if reason does not restrain one’s inclinations towards following whims and desires, then he will soon find no means to turn back to the path of salvation. 

 

The same applies to gatherings of leisure and entertainment. They have always been – and still are, as they appear on the internet – a waste of energy and talent, where followers of falsehood who have no mission to work or succeed in their lives gather, and they waste their time and their lives which are the most precious things they own, and they spend their days exchanging gossip, and they waste a lot of time and do not achieve anything for their worldly or religious interests.  

 

When the Muslim has the blessing of free time with which Allaah has honoured him, he can do no more than look for the best deeds with which to fill his time, not just any good deed. Hence you see that the Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them) asked the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in many ahaadeeth about the best actions by means of which they could attain a higher status before Allaah, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) answered their questions. 

 

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are two blessings which many people do not make the best of: good health and free time.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6412). 

 

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, speaking of regret about time: 

 

Regret for wasted time should be deep, for time passes quickly and it is difficult to make up what you have missed.  

 

Time for the worshipper is a time for worship and reciting awraad, and for the devoted Muslim it is time for turning to Allaah and focusing on Him with all his heart. 

 

Time is the dearest thing to him and he would feel very sad if time passes without him doing what he is meant to do. If he misses time, he can never make it up, because a second time has its own duties. So if he misses time, there is no way he can bring it back.  Madaarij al-Saalikeen (3/49). 

 

The most important things that will help you make the most of your time is to avoid futile gatherings and refrain from talking too much and keep away from lazy and idle people, and to keep company with those who are striving hard, clever, smart and aware of time, and those ho immerse themselves in reading for the purpose of increasing their knowledge. 

 

The wise man is the one who is guided to fill his time with useful, beneficial and good deeds; thus he will advance and rise in status. So you will find him always seeking knowledge, or writing lessons, or learning a skill, or visiting relatives or a sick person, or advising one who has gone astray, or earning a living so that he can spend on his dependents and save them from having to ask of people.  

 

‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him) said:  

 

I would hate to see any one of you idle and not doing anything to help himself in this world or in the Hereafter.  Quoted by Abu ‘Ubayd al-Qaasim ibn Sallaam in al-Amthaal (48). 

 

The Muslim has no time to listen to or look at sinful things. You know that these conversations include things that go against sharee’ah such as immoral talk and bad attitudes, so is entering these foul swamps something that will benefit a Muslim, or is it anything that he should seek in his life? 

 

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Strive to do that which will benefit you and seek the help of Allaah.” Narrated by Muslim (2664). 

 

When Allaah asks you on the Day of Resurrection about this time that you wasted in idle talk and writing and conversing about things that are of no benefit, rather they will harm you, what will your answer be? It was narrated that Abu Barzah al-Aslami said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A person’s feet will not move on the Day of Resurrection until he is asked about his life and how he spent it, his knowledge and what he did with it, and his wealth, how he acquired it and how he spent it, and his body (health), and how he used it.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2417), classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb (126). 

 

Finally, you should note: 

 

That these chat rooms have corrupted the morals of many people; they have caused rifts between loved ones, men have divorced their wives because of them, women have lost their honour because of them, and those who are weak in faith and lacking in knowledge have been deceived by the specious arguments and myths in them, and have thus been misled. If the Muslim hears of an environment that is filled with fitnah and sin, he should denounce the people involved and strive to set them straight – if he is one of those who are able for that – otherwise he should keep away from such environments and not be deceived by thinking that his faith is strong or that he knows what they really are, and that he is just having fun. 

 

Beware of indulging in chat rooms on the internet, and protect yourself from the immorality and evil that is in them, for they are gatherings that bring little benefit but cause a great deal of harm; they are of no benefit in this world and do not bring salvation in the Hereafter. 

 

If you find that you are getting drawn into fitnah and sin, such as speaking to women unnecessarily and speaking too much to this one and that one, then you should realize that you are in grave danger, and we hope that you will save yourself from it and resist falling into the trap of the shaytaan. 

 

You should appreciate your wife and keep good company with her, and honour her more. If you have marriage issues then you should address them and work in resolving them than running away from them and falling into what is sinful and forbidden.

 

Finally, ask yourself if you accept your son to do what you are doing, or if you accept someone to do the same with your daughter or wife (may Allaah forbids).

 

A hadeeth reported by Abu Umaamah (may Allaah be pleased with him), who said that a young man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: “O Messenger of Allaah, give me permission to commit zina.”

 

The people turned to him to rebuke him, telling him to be quiet. But the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Leave him alone.” Then he came closer to him and told him to sit down. He said: “Would you like that for your mother?” He said: “No, by Allaah, may Allaah make me your ransom.” He said: “No, and the people do not like it for their mothers either.” Then he said: “Would you like it for your daughter?” He said: “No, by Allaah, may Allaah make me your ransom.” He said: “No, and the people do not like it for their daughters either.” He said: Would you like it for your sister?” He said: “No, by Allaah, may Allaah make me your ransom.” He said: “No, and the people do not like it for their sisters either.” He said: “Would you like it for your paternal aunt?” He said: “No, by Allaah, may Allaah make me your ransom.” He said: “No, and the people do not like it for their paternal aunts either.” He said: “Would you like it for your maternal aunt?” He said: “No, by Allaah, may Allaah make me your ransom.” He said: “No, and the people do not like it for their maternal aunts either.”  

 

Then he placed his hand on him and said: “O Allaah, forgive his sins and cleanse his heart, and protect his chastity.” And after that the young man never thought of any such thing again.  Musnad Ahmad, 21705; al-Albaani classed its isnaad as saheeh in al-Saheehah, 370. 

In al-Saheeh it is narrated that [the Prophet] (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has decreed for the son of Adam his share of zina which will inevitably come to him. The eye commits zina and its zina is looking. The tongue commits zina and its zina is speaking. The foot commits zina and its zina is walking. The hand commits zina and its zina is touching. The heart longs and wishes, and the private part confirms that or denies it.” He started with the zina of the eye because it is the basis of the zina of the hand, foot, heart and private part. And the zina of the mouth by kissing is implied by the reference to the zina of the mouth by speaking. And he described the private part as confirming that if the action is fulfilled, or denying it if it is not. He said: This hadeeth is one of the clearest signs that the eye can sin by looking, and that this is its zina. This is a refutation of those who permit letting the gaze wander freely. End quote. 
 

We ask Allaah to guide us all and give us all strength. 

 

And Allaah knows best.

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